Frog's birthday present was a trampoline. We bought it in May when it was on sale. Frog has been climbing on the boxes for months. We assembled it a week before his birthday to give him a chance to warm-up to it. I think it worked. (if you've seen some of this video in a previous post, keep watching. I'm playing with my muvee maker and I've made some changes - you need to see the swimming video at the end).
Check out more special exposure Wednesday posts at 5 Minutes for Special Needs
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Frog's Birthday Bounce
Illustory for young authors
Thanks to Kristy,at My Life for the World to See,for suggesting the post
This is not necessarily a solution to a problem, but it is a lot of fun for the kids, a great way to showcase some kid art, makes a great grandparent gift, and could be used for a very special social story - Illustory allows you to create your own real hardback book.
Click here for more information
For a sample of the finished product, continue on to my previous post:
Dog's Adventure
Enjoy!
Monday, August 04, 2008
Dog's Adventure, by Diva Frog
A book by Diva Frog dedicated to her brother Little Frog on his birthday.
(The author asks that you note the movement of the sun through Dog's day)
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Party at the Pond
Frog has been very excited about his birthday this year. Last year he was still overwhelmed by kids and expectations. We went to a couple of birthday parties for other boys - where he was not the center of attention - and I think it helped. We decided to tone down the party aspect of his birthday this year and it seems like he is enjoying himself more. On Wednesday, we put one present, a book written for Frog by Diva, on the table with his breakfast. He warmed up to it slowly and took it from the table when no one was looking. He removed the ribbon and opened the gift all by himself outside in the yard. This is the first gift I can remember him opening without prompting and assistance (except, of course, the gifts we wrap for other people that he finds before we get them out of the house). Grandma stopped by with a great big Mylar balloon and a giant musical birthday card. Frog played and wrestled with that balloon all moring, finally putting a hole in it. Diva said "Wow, he got more entertainment out of that balloon in ten minutes than he does out of most toys in a year!" We have two play dates set-up in lieu of a kids' party. We are hoping that one playmate at a time will make the "party" more fun for Frog. His birthday present from Mom and Dad was a large trampoline that we set-up last week so he would have some time to warm up to it. The plan worked. Today we had a Birthday Party with family members. Frog and Diva jumped and jumped. Frog ate his cake in his sandbox (recently refurbished by Diva and Mom). Frog and Diva finished the day in the pool. Frog got another Mylar balloon from his Aunt and Uncle. The balloon plays the happy birthday song when you tap it. Frog has been tapping the balloon all evening and grinning from ear to ear.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
To Frog on his 6th Birthday
6 years old - can this be true? It seems just yesterday, this was you -
Each time I look, it seems you grew -
and grew -
and grew -
Yesterday we walked through the woods. I marveled at how far we have come, you and I. 
You were curious -
You were peaceful -
You listened to my stories about the woods and showed me new ways to see familiar places -
You are growing up fast. The road before you is long and we can't see around the bends. I wonder what will facinate and inspire you next. I am so blessed to be on this adventure with you.
Happy Birthday Little Frog -
Love Mom.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
In Memory of Evan
Our thoughts and prayers are with the Kamida family.
More Flowers at the Swingset are being posted in Evan's honor at Flickr
Honor the memory of Evan Kamida by sharing your photos of flowers at swingsets.
You can also send contributions to:
The Pediatric Epilepsy Fund at UCLA
Division of Pediatric Neurology
Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA
David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA
22-474 MDCC
10833 Le Conte Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90095-1752
You can also contribute directly to Evan's memorial fund:
www.vickiforman.com/?p=1011
"Vicki and her family will use the funds to purchase something Evan would have enjoyed in his life, for instance, a tree to shade the playground swings…"
Monday, April 21, 2008
Re-introduction
I thought I should re-post our introduction for anyone from the ENKI special needs homeschool yahoo group or the DIR/Floortime on-line conference who might be stopping by to find out more about Little Frog. Here is where we were in 2006:
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Welcome to the Pond
Welcome, I'm so glad you found us! We live in the wet wilds of the Pacific Northwest. After college and graduate school, my husband and I came home and settled down near family in the small town where we grew up.
Our first little tadpole, diva frog, was born in 1998. She was early to talk, early to walk, an inquisitive little "grown-up" from the moment she was born. By age 3 she was known as mommy's little legal assistant and was quick to give the City attorney her opinion on everything. Today diva frog is a true girly girl - complete with a pretty in pink wardrobe, Barbies and Polly Pockets galor, and ballet and gymnastics classes every week. Her life is a musical and she is the star - singing every solo.
Our second tadpole, little frog, was born in 2002. 10lbs 11oz, sunnyside-up with his head turned to the side, little frog was born via c-section after days of start and stop labor and hours of unproductive pushing. Little frog came into the world with a strong startle reflex and extremely powerful lungs he was not afraid to use. For the first few months of little frog's life he screamed long, loud and hard, nursed voraciously (45 min at a time) and slept sporadically. Being the experienced frog parents we were, we declared him colicky and began to apply all the home remedies and old wives tales. But little frog was a conundrum. He detested riding in the car and screamed as if he were being tortured. He had a very high tolerance for physical pain, but could not tolerate a light touch or anything brushed against his skin. He loved the sound of running water, the vacuum cleaner, the TV, and musical toys, often rocking on his hands and knees while listening. He cried when the sound stopped. But he did not startle or even turn his head to look when you called his name or banged pot lids together behind him. He loved to be held or swaddled tightly and rocked or bounced with great energy. He would look at you and light up when you entered a room with a charming grin and a twinkle of delight in his eye. He did not care at all if you left.
He crawled with his left hand turned out. He had an uncanny ability to drive his walker, maneuvering it into and out of tight spaces like a professional. When he walked, he walked on his tip toes (sometimes on the knuckles of his toes). When he ran, which was most of the time,it was always fast and furious with little regard for what lie in front of him. At 18 months he did not speak, he did not wave, he did not point, he did not seek us out for help, he did not reference us for reassurance and he did not turn to us for comfort when he was hurt or sad or afraid. Diva frog pointed out that he never looked at her eyes, only at her mouth. The pediatrician told us not to worry, but to have his hearing tested if he did not have some words by age two. We began our own research and slowly came to realize that our little frog was swimming in the deep, dark water of autism. Deep and dark to us because we had so little understanding of how he perceived the world or how he felt. Deep and dark for little frog because he had been learning to navigate these waters on his own.
Today little frog is four years old. We are still traveling the maze of therapies and interventions. Some have helped, some have not. Little frog continues to grow and learn. He still does not talk. He only points to show us what he wants, not to draw our attention to what he sees or hears. Sometimes he comes to us for help, although he is still a fiercely independent problem solver (which makes toddler-proofing the Lilly pad a big challenge for mom and dad). He does come to us for comfort, and is beginning to look to our expressions to help make sense of new situations. He still has his smile and the twinkle in his eye and he continues to charm everyone he meets. And just a few days ago, on his birthday, he looked directly into diva frog's eyes as if to say "Look at me! Look at what I can do!" and smiled his delight just for her.
Today Frog is over 5.5 years old. Since this post we have continued with DIR/Floortime, used The Listening Program, obtained an individualized HANDLE program, started homeschooling with ENKI, started NAET allergy elimination treatments, and are just starting to work with Rapid Prompting Method. We supplement his diet with Omega 3, 6, and 9, multi vitamins, and zinc/B6. Some of the interventions that did not have any significant value for little frog were ABA, PECS, Sign Language, GFCF diet, Verbal Behavior, Vantage Voice Output System (although we are still holding out hope that he will take to the device in the future) Little Frog has made great strides in his joint attention, social initiation, and his own non-verbal communication. He continues to be a great independent problem solver and gets into everything. He pays more attention to speech and responds to his name and the words stop, wait, and no. He uses two claps for yes, but has no sign for no. He varies the intensity of his clapping to signal enthusiasm or ambivalence. He is still too loud at times (he doesn't speak, but makes every sound in the English language and some from other languages in a combination of babble and verbal stim), but has improved his ability to modulate his voice with a verbal prompt (quiet voice). He is curious, happy, engaged, graceful, charming, alert - but can not readily participate in the ideas of others even though he shows that he understands what is being asked/suggested. He is able to respond quicker to simple ideas/instructions if there is a musical cue rather than being spoken to. Picture cues have never worked for him. He taught himself to play the harmonica. He has almost taught himself to swim. He still puts everything in his mouth - but does not show signs of PICA, just a need for oral information. We have worked with some amazing professionals over the last few years and they all agree that he is a conundrum, unlike most spectrum kids they meet. We continue to grow and evolve with him and are enjoying life one day at a time celebrating all his progress and trying not to spend too much time worrying about what he is not doing yet. He is one amazing kid.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Welcome to the Pond
Welcome, I'm so glad you found us! We live in the wet wilds of the Pacific Northwest. After college and graduate school, my husband and I came home and settled down near family in the small town where we grew up.
Our first little tadpole, diva frog, was born in 1998. She was early to talk, early to walk, an inquisitive little "grown-up" from the moment she was born. By age 3 she was known as mommy's little legal assistant and was quick to give the City attorney her opinion on everything. Today diva frog is a true girly girl - complete with a pretty in pink wardrobe, Barbies and Polly Pockets galor, and ballet and gymnastics classes every week. Her life is a musical and she is the star - singing every solo.
Our second tadpole, little frog, was born in 2002. 10lbs 11oz, sunnyside-up with his head turned to the side, little frog was born via c-section after days of start and stop labor and hours of unproductive pushing. Little frog came into the world with a strong startle reflex and extremely powerful lungs he was not afraid to use. For the first few months of little frog's life he screamed long, loud and hard, nursed voraciously (45 min at a time) and slept sporadically. Being the experienced frog parents we were, we declared him colicky and began to apply all the home remedies and old wives tales. But little frog was a conundrum. He detested riding in the car and screamed as if he were being tortured. He had a very high tolerance for physical pain, but could not tolerate a light touch or anything brushed against his skin. He loved the sound of running water, the vacuum cleaner, the TV, and musical toys, often rocking on his hands and knees while listening. He cried when the sound stopped. But he did not startle or even turn his head to look when you called his name or banged pot lids together behind him. He loved to be held or swaddled tightly and rocked or bounced with great energy. He would look at you and light up when you entered a room with a charming grin and a twinkle of delight in his eye. He did not care at all if you left.
He crawled with his left hand turned out. He had an uncanny ability to drive his walker, maneuvering it into and out of tight spaces like a professional. When he walked, he walked on his tip toes (sometimes on the knuckles of his toes). When he ran, which was most of the time,it was always fast and furious with little regard for what lie in front of him. At 18 months he did not speak, he did not wave, he did not point, he did not seek us out for help, he did not reference us for reassurance and he did not turn to us for comfort when he was hurt or sad or afraid. Diva frog pointed out that he never looked at her eyes, only at her mouth. The pediatrician told us not to worry, but to have his hearing tested if he did not have some words by age two. We began our own research and slowly came to realize that our little frog was swimming in the deep, dark water of autism. Deep and dark to us because we had so little understanding of how he perceived the world or how he felt. Deep and dark for little frog because he had been learning to navigate these waters on his own.
Today little frog is four years old. We are still traveling the maze of therapies and interventions. Some have helped, some have not. Little frog continues to grow and learn. He still does not talk. He only points to show us what he wants, not to draw our attention to what he sees or hears. Sometimes he comes to us for help, although he is still a fiercely independent problem solver (which makes toddler-proofing the Lilly pad a big challenge for mom and dad). He does come to us for comfort, and is beginning to look to our expressions to help make sense of new situations. He still has his smile and the twinkle in his eye and he continues to charm everyone he meets. And just a few days ago, on his birthday, he looked directly into diva frog's eyes as if to say "Look at me! Look at what I can do!" and smiled his delight just for her.
Today Frog is over 5.5 years old. Since this post we have continued with DIR/Floortime, used The Listening Program, obtained an individualized HANDLE program, started homeschooling with ENKI, started NAET allergy elimination treatments, and are just starting to work with Rapid Prompting Method. We supplement his diet with Omega 3, 6, and 9, multi vitamins, and zinc/B6. Some of the interventions that did not have any significant value for little frog were ABA, PECS, Sign Language, GFCF diet, Verbal Behavior, Vantage Voice Output System (although we are still holding out hope that he will take to the device in the future) Little Frog has made great strides in his joint attention, social initiation, and his own non-verbal communication. He continues to be a great independent problem solver and gets into everything. He pays more attention to speech and responds to his name and the words stop, wait, and no. He uses two claps for yes, but has no sign for no. He varies the intensity of his clapping to signal enthusiasm or ambivalence. He is still too loud at times (he doesn't speak, but makes every sound in the English language and some from other languages in a combination of babble and verbal stim), but has improved his ability to modulate his voice with a verbal prompt (quiet voice). He is curious, happy, engaged, graceful, charming, alert - but can not readily participate in the ideas of others even though he shows that he understands what is being asked/suggested. He is able to respond quicker to simple ideas/instructions if there is a musical cue rather than being spoken to. Picture cues have never worked for him. He taught himself to play the harmonica. He has almost taught himself to swim. He still puts everything in his mouth - but does not show signs of PICA, just a need for oral information. We have worked with some amazing professionals over the last few years and they all agree that he is a conundrum, unlike most spectrum kids they meet. We continue to grow and evolve with him and are enjoying life one day at a time celebrating all his progress and trying not to spend too much time worrying about what he is not doing yet. He is one amazing kid.
Frog Update
We are back from Frog’s first Neurology appointment. They were not able to give us any new insights, but the Neurologist confirmed what we have suspected all along. Frog is part of that rare (or not so rare, but often undiscovered) subset of ASD where receptive language, social awareness, and the desire to connect with others is fully intact, but he is so severely limited by his lack of expressive language, sign, gesture, and inability to imitate that he can’t regularly demonstrate the extent of his knowledge and awareness. He compared Frog to a few other kids he had seen in his practice who were considered severely impacted-low functioning ASD and then they began to type or write when they reached 10 or 12 years old and were able to tell about everything they had been aware of over the years - Similar to Tito Mukhopadhyay or more recently Carly Fleischmann . We have started using Rapid Prompting Method (RPM) developed by Soma Mukhopadhyay to teach her son Tito. Through RPM we have discovered that Frog knows his letters and numbers, listens to the stories we read and can answer questions about them, wants to know more about dinosaurs and cars and wants to learn to ride his bike, can read some words, is frustrated when people don’t know how smart he is, thinks his sister talks too much and he wants a dog. I’ve been trying to figure out why he can and will choose between two answers for RPM, but was so hit and miss with discrete trial. I can see two major differences: The physical motor plan for the activity stays the same and has the same prompt (giving him the pencil) and the information is constantly new – he is not being asked to do the same meaningless task over and over again. He has also started to request to write letters and after months of avoiding his voice output system, he is now exploring it a little on his own – especially the alphabetized keyboard screen. I suspect he will be writing and/or typing within the next year or two.
So our days are now structured by the rhythms and open intake philosophy of ENKI using DIR/Floortime, sensory play, communication through RPM, and lots and lots of letters. It is starting to feel like school – and we are starting to make some progress on the goals that are most important to us as a family. We also found a new social outlet for Frog – JUMP PLANET! While we were in Seattle for the neurology appointment, Jump Planet was hosting a special needs family night. We weren’t sure how Frog would react to all the people in the room, but he dove in with wild abandon. The set-up was safe and contained so we could give him the freedom to run around and choose his activities independently. He had a ball – jumped with other kids, tolerated unexpected bumps and jostles, no pinching, no biting, no meltdowns. We will defiantly be going back.
I will also be expanding my DIR experience with an on-line conference. I’ve wanted to go to a conference for several years, but could not find it in the schedule or budget to be away from home for that amount of time. Dr. Greenspan and Rosemary White, OT are putting on an interactive on-line version of the conference training starting on April 25th . Parents and professionals from all over the world have signed up – I’m excited about the chance to compare notes and experiences with this diverse group.
So our days are now structured by the rhythms and open intake philosophy of ENKI using DIR/Floortime, sensory play, communication through RPM, and lots and lots of letters. It is starting to feel like school – and we are starting to make some progress on the goals that are most important to us as a family. We also found a new social outlet for Frog – JUMP PLANET! While we were in Seattle for the neurology appointment, Jump Planet was hosting a special needs family night. We weren’t sure how Frog would react to all the people in the room, but he dove in with wild abandon. The set-up was safe and contained so we could give him the freedom to run around and choose his activities independently. He had a ball – jumped with other kids, tolerated unexpected bumps and jostles, no pinching, no biting, no meltdowns. We will defiantly be going back.
I will also be expanding my DIR experience with an on-line conference. I’ve wanted to go to a conference for several years, but could not find it in the schedule or budget to be away from home for that amount of time. Dr. Greenspan and Rosemary White, OT are putting on an interactive on-line version of the conference training starting on April 25th . Parents and professionals from all over the world have signed up – I’m excited about the chance to compare notes and experiences with this diverse group.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Easing into ENKI
We've officially started School here at the pond. We are easing in - getting our feet wet so to speak. With the weather turning cold and wet, we have moved our morning movement work inside which is more of a challenge - Frog likes to have room to move. With encouragement from the program's architect, we've put away the more challenging stories and movements and are developing our own rhymes to help Frog work on strengthening his body map. I'm calling this period, ENKI Light. This week, taking a cue from a raspberry noise he was enjoying making, We worked on an Elephant Walk
Elephants walk heavy and slow
They raise up their trunks to greet people they know - (raspberry).
I modeled this with an elephant walk and a trunk (arm) raise, several times. The next day we did "hand over hand" (more like body over body) and did the exercise together. After a few rounds, he actually came back for more. I think we looked a little like baby Dumbo and his Mother.
I'm hoping we will have a whole "Animals on Parade" routine eventually. (baby Dumbo and Mom statue available on e-bay. Auction closes Dec. 3)
I was also encouraged to imitate the rhymed verse accompaniment to ENKI stories with the stories we are using. This week it is "COOKIES" from Frog and Toad Toad Together
COOKIES
A batch of cookies Toad did bake so warm and chewy and sweet,
He put them in a giant bowl for Frog and Toad to eat.
Frog took a cookie, took a bite and said “These are the best!”
Then Frog and Toad continued eating cookies without rest.
“Stop” cried Frog “We have to Stop, I think we’ve had our fill.”
“If we do not stop eating now, I fear we may be ill.”
“One last cookie each my friend and then it’s time to stop.”
They each ate one, and then one more - they were both about to pop.
“We must stop eating” cried out Toad as a cookie he did munch,
“We need to find our will power and stop this cookie lunch”
We will try hard to stop this feast, we won’t another cookie eat.
We will not take another bite; we won’t eat cookies day and night.
We’ll put them in a box and we’ll put the box away.
But we could open up the box and eat them anyway.
We will try hard to stop this feast, we won’t another cookie eat.
We will not take another bite; we won’t eat cookies day and night.
We’ll tie a string around the box with a knot that’s tight and strong.
But we could cut the string with ease and eat cookies all night long.
We will try hard to stop this feast, we won’t another cookie eat.
We will not take another bite; we won’t eat cookies day and night.
We’ll tie the string and place the box upon the highest shelves.
But we could climb back up and get the cookies for ourselves.
We will try hard to stop this feast, we won’t another cookie eat.
We will not take another bite; we won’t eat cookies day and night.
Frog took the box of cookies to the yard and called the birds,
“We have cookies here to share come get them and they’re yours.”
“Birds came and took the cookies Toad, now we can’t go wrong!”
“I’m going, Frog, to bake a cake, I hope your will power’s strong.”
We are doing movements for several of the verbs, signs for "cookie" and "stop"; and emphasising words with a PU or UH sound (sounds we are working on in speech therapy with The Animated Alphabet). We are also baking and eating a lot of cookies! Frog is taking me to the pantry for cookie mix on a regular basis. Frog laughs when I say "A batch of cookies Toad did bake" while we make cookies. We also made spaghetti sauce (can't live on cookies alone). I wanted to make it ahead of time so I could put a quick lasagna together for Aaron's Team tomorrow - a home visit with all the therapists. Frog and I sampled some for lunch the day we put it together - Bolognaise Nuevo. I was able to put in onions, mushrooms, peppers and zucchini, as well as ground beef browned in large "meatball" chunks. It's nice that we have moved on from PBJ and Lunchables.
Our other breakthrough has been rediscovering TAMO
"handling always applies forces associated with independent movements; that is, the therapist does not support nor move the patient; instead, the patient plans and generates the movement in response to the therapist's 'loading', which accentuates appropriate gravitational influences. That loading force is almost always directed through the patient's body to the support surface. The exact direction of this loading force constantly changes with movement. However, the observer cannot see that. You should ask your child's therapist to apply that 'loading force' to you! TAMO handling feels good; it gives a sense of security (stabilizing to the support surface and moving from the support surface) and it allows you to move with ease. Careful, it's easy to get hooked on TAMO treatment! This type of handling requires a good knowledge of the relation between pressure distribution at the contact with the support surface and the associated body posture and movement."
We haven't had a lot of training in this, but our private OT showed us how to use loading force along the gravitational vector of his pelvis while he was playing to help him stay focused and feel grounded. We used it mostly to help him calm himself when he seemed to be loosing his proprioceptive sense. But after watching power struggles at school to "keep" him in his chair or at an activity and then watching him go through similar struggles at speech therapy I decided, instead of trying to not be too distracting during the appointments - maybe I could be a part of them. I sat behind his chair and applied the loading force - gently, dynamically(moves with him rather than restricting or supporting him), at a pace of 60 beats per minute. The difference left both the speech therapist and me speechless ourselves. He went from screaming, crying, trying to get out of the chair or away from the activity, to sitting in the chair for 20 minutes, lots of attention, some complaints - but not to the point he disengaged from the activity, attempts at specific sounds and use of his voice output system, looking at books, playing "new" games. When he finished the appointment and I stopped applying the pressure, he remained calm. He put on his coat, put away his Vantage with some guidance, and WALKED down the hall to the waiting room QUIETLY. My new dilemma is how to use the technique at home when its just the two of us. It will be a topic of discussion tomorrow!
We are on the right track - I can just feel it.
Elephants walk heavy and slow
They raise up their trunks to greet people they know - (raspberry).
I modeled this with an elephant walk and a trunk (arm) raise, several times. The next day we did "hand over hand" (more like body over body) and did the exercise together. After a few rounds, he actually came back for more. I think we looked a little like baby Dumbo and his Mother.
I'm hoping we will have a whole "Animals on Parade" routine eventually. (baby Dumbo and Mom statue available on e-bay. Auction closes Dec. 3) I was also encouraged to imitate the rhymed verse accompaniment to ENKI stories with the stories we are using. This week it is "COOKIES" from Frog and Toad Toad Together
COOKIES
A batch of cookies Toad did bake so warm and chewy and sweet,
He put them in a giant bowl for Frog and Toad to eat.
Frog took a cookie, took a bite and said “These are the best!”
Then Frog and Toad continued eating cookies without rest.
“Stop” cried Frog “We have to Stop, I think we’ve had our fill.”
“If we do not stop eating now, I fear we may be ill.”
“One last cookie each my friend and then it’s time to stop.”
They each ate one, and then one more - they were both about to pop.
“We must stop eating” cried out Toad as a cookie he did munch,
“We need to find our will power and stop this cookie lunch”
We will try hard to stop this feast, we won’t another cookie eat.
We will not take another bite; we won’t eat cookies day and night.
We’ll put them in a box and we’ll put the box away.
But we could open up the box and eat them anyway.
We will try hard to stop this feast, we won’t another cookie eat.
We will not take another bite; we won’t eat cookies day and night.
We’ll tie a string around the box with a knot that’s tight and strong.
But we could cut the string with ease and eat cookies all night long.
We will try hard to stop this feast, we won’t another cookie eat.
We will not take another bite; we won’t eat cookies day and night.
We’ll tie the string and place the box upon the highest shelves.
But we could climb back up and get the cookies for ourselves.
We will try hard to stop this feast, we won’t another cookie eat.
We will not take another bite; we won’t eat cookies day and night.
Frog took the box of cookies to the yard and called the birds,
“We have cookies here to share come get them and they’re yours.”
“Birds came and took the cookies Toad, now we can’t go wrong!”
“I’m going, Frog, to bake a cake, I hope your will power’s strong.”
We are doing movements for several of the verbs, signs for "cookie" and "stop"; and emphasising words with a PU or UH sound (sounds we are working on in speech therapy with The Animated Alphabet). We are also baking and eating a lot of cookies! Frog is taking me to the pantry for cookie mix on a regular basis. Frog laughs when I say "A batch of cookies Toad did bake" while we make cookies. We also made spaghetti sauce (can't live on cookies alone). I wanted to make it ahead of time so I could put a quick lasagna together for Aaron's Team tomorrow - a home visit with all the therapists. Frog and I sampled some for lunch the day we put it together - Bolognaise Nuevo. I was able to put in onions, mushrooms, peppers and zucchini, as well as ground beef browned in large "meatball" chunks. It's nice that we have moved on from PBJ and Lunchables.
Our other breakthrough has been rediscovering TAMO
"handling always applies forces associated with independent movements; that is, the therapist does not support nor move the patient; instead, the patient plans and generates the movement in response to the therapist's 'loading', which accentuates appropriate gravitational influences. That loading force is almost always directed through the patient's body to the support surface. The exact direction of this loading force constantly changes with movement. However, the observer cannot see that. You should ask your child's therapist to apply that 'loading force' to you! TAMO handling feels good; it gives a sense of security (stabilizing to the support surface and moving from the support surface) and it allows you to move with ease. Careful, it's easy to get hooked on TAMO treatment! This type of handling requires a good knowledge of the relation between pressure distribution at the contact with the support surface and the associated body posture and movement."
We haven't had a lot of training in this, but our private OT showed us how to use loading force along the gravitational vector of his pelvis while he was playing to help him stay focused and feel grounded. We used it mostly to help him calm himself when he seemed to be loosing his proprioceptive sense. But after watching power struggles at school to "keep" him in his chair or at an activity and then watching him go through similar struggles at speech therapy I decided, instead of trying to not be too distracting during the appointments - maybe I could be a part of them. I sat behind his chair and applied the loading force - gently, dynamically(moves with him rather than restricting or supporting him), at a pace of 60 beats per minute. The difference left both the speech therapist and me speechless ourselves. He went from screaming, crying, trying to get out of the chair or away from the activity, to sitting in the chair for 20 minutes, lots of attention, some complaints - but not to the point he disengaged from the activity, attempts at specific sounds and use of his voice output system, looking at books, playing "new" games. When he finished the appointment and I stopped applying the pressure, he remained calm. He put on his coat, put away his Vantage with some guidance, and WALKED down the hall to the waiting room QUIETLY. My new dilemma is how to use the technique at home when its just the two of us. It will be a topic of discussion tomorrow!
We are on the right track - I can just feel it.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Update - IEP
Ok Maddy - this one is for you - thanks for sticking with me! :0)
After listening to Frog's teacher's concerns and mixed messages -8:30am "he's doing really well, I'm so pleased", 3:00pm "I'm really concerned, he's not progressing as I had hoped. I think it is sensory and I'm concerned his program is too scattered. I think we need an IEP meeting to discuss his behaviors, make sure we are all on the same page and not duplicating what you are doing at home." (...?!!!!??) I spent a day observing Frog at school. I've been in his class on a regular basis this year because I was walking him to school every morning. I noticed both kids (Frog and his classmate) did a lot of screaming, crying, and trying to get away, but I always got reports of "good day." I gave the benefit of the doubt that having an extra adult in the room made things more chaotic. That changed after I watched what was going on. Frog's teacher was especially concerned about his "behaviors" meaning he frequently bit his wrist and pinched the teacher or pulled her hair. I am familiar with this behavior. It has been going on for the last two years he has been in her class. At home the behavior has steadily decreased and I assumed that was also true at school. I knew the teacher responded by holding his hands firmly away from his body so he could not bite or pinch and turning her gaze away from him until he calmed down. The morning of her phone call, while I was in the room I watched one of these episodes. They were sitting at the snack table. Frog's wrist went to his mouth and he pinched the Teacher. She told him "NO!" and restrained his hands. He calmed, she let go, and he went after her again - 4 times in a row with the same response from the teacher. I stepped in and suggested that she direct him to his Vantage Voice Output device, help him select the emotions menu and encourage him to "tell" her how he was feeling rather than "show" her with a pinch. When I demonstrated, he chose "excited". The teacher was clearly not impressed - although the picture for "excited" looked a lot like Frog in that moment.
The following day, I checked his Vantage when he came home - not one single word had been accessed. I had encouraged the teacher to use the structured nature of the program to encourage him to use the Vantage. I had even modified activity lines and made pages to suit her lesson plans for him. But she left the device on the snack table where he could access it if he wanted to, but he was never encouraged or directed or shown that it was appropriate or acceptable to use in the classroom. We and several other families had gone through the same thing with PECS training in this classroom. One family got the district to bring Pyramid PECS trainers to town to train the staff and parents - I wasn't there, but heard that most of the staff were more concerned about where they were going to go out to lunch than learning the training techniques. PECS books were regularly left zipped up in backpacks or put away on high shelves until snack time when they were used as choice boards. I paid my own way to get the training in another state when it was offered, then went into the classroom (for 4 weeks) to get the training started. It never worked for Frog, but we got several other kids off the ground. It was apparent, however, that this particular teacher did not want to bring anything new into her program and assumed that communication was the SLP's job. I could see we were still on the same road with the Vantage.
The teacher began taking functional behavior data on Frog on a Thursday. I asked her to e-mail me the results. I was stunned - not only by the number of times he was biting and pinching, but by the fact that the only categories she could see for "perceived function" were avoidance and escape. I went into the classroom the next day and took my own data resulting in a 7 page write-up of observations.
I spent the weekend celebrating Diva's birthday, then got down to IEP business Sunday evening after the kids had gone down for the night. I finished at 3am and shot a copy of my observations and conclusions off to Frog's Psychologist and private SLP. Both confirmed that I was not crazy to be highly concerned and agreed that my plans for home school would serve him better. I e-mailed my seven page document to the IEP team 3 hours prior to the meeting. I copied the Principal and the Special Ed Director - who both hightailed it to the meeting along with the school psychologist invited by the teacher. My conclusions prepared them for what was coming:
III. PARENTS CONCLUSIONS:
While I did see many examples of the behaviors that were brought to my attention, they did not seem as dramatic or intrusive as the data would suggest. What I did notice was a lot of communication from Frog that while I would hope was not going un-noticed, was certainly not honored or even acknowledged. I also saw dominating behavior on the part of the adults. While I am certain it was done with Frog’s best interest at heart, it certainly would shake the trust and confidence of a small child whose world view is often confused and chaotic. I do not believe it is helpful, healthy or wise to take all of Frog’s control away. That in itself would cause enough anxiety to interfere with learning. (On a side note - I applaud the introduction of sensory calming and sensory input activities into the work of the general classroom. I would caution, however, these are tools not magic bullets. The wrong tool used at the wrong time or used excessively can make things worse not better. I got the feeling that Frog was to be squished on a regular basis whether he needed/wanted it or not. On one occasion, I saw a Para trying so hard to comply with Teacher's direction to make sure Frog got a good squish, she directed him to the mat and when he didn’t go, she brought him to the mat and made him lay down, and when he tried to crawl away, she pulled him back and squished him.) I saw examples of auditory and visual distractions interrupting Frog's motor planning leaving him floundering for what to do next preceding some of the incidence of these behaviors. And, some of the behaviors were perfectly typical fight or flight responses to unexpected or startling events. In any event, while I think they do interfere with his learning to a degree, to the extent they are communicative I don’t want to extinguish the behavior without substituting another way for him to say ‘NO! Stop that! I don’t want to do that!” He is vulnerable enough as it is. Extinguishing behaviors that are defiant, and seeking complete compliance and submission is too dangerous for him and will make it difficult for him to ever feel his has the right or ability to self advocate. Other 5 year olds (and 4, 3, 2, even 1 year olds) say NO all the time. It is ok and developmentally appropriate for him to be non compliant at times. Furthermore, extinguishing the behaviors without truly identifying their purpose and helping Frog find appropriate substitute behaviors may not give us the results we desire. He didn’t start biting his arm and pinching us until he was taught (at school) to cover his mouth with his hand when he started to scream. In my opinion, if the program he is in requires a level of compliance that does not allow him to say no – I need to put him a different program.
I cut the teacher off as she began to read her observations and concerns pointing out that these were not new behaviors and they were decreasing in an environment where he was listened to and validated. We had a long discussion about the differences between ABA and DIR which was educational for some of the staff members. Then I suggested that it was time to take a break from school and focus on communication. I got no argument from the team, and the Teacher, who started out defensive, seemed a little shocked and a little relieved. We all made nice and allowed everyone to save face. We planned a goodbye ritual for Frog complete with a photo memory book and a cupcake celebration. We told him that we were proud of how much he had grown and learned in Teacher's class and now he was ready to move on to adventure school with Mommy. We kept the IEP for now with a placement of "home school". That means we can still access the OT that we adore and the new SLP who we were so excited to work with at the begining of the year.
We have realized at home for a long time now, that
Frog learns faster and more naturally when he backs into an activity rather than trying to learn through direct instruction. I'm in the process of modifying the home school curriculum with the advice and guidance of the teacher who developed the program, to meet his specific learning style. She suggested that he may show strong resistance initially to anything he perceives as "instruction" and suggested we unschool for a little while. Today when we left our private SLP's office, the local para-transit bus was parked at the front door. Frog froze, panicked, sat down on the ground and looked at me with scared pleading eyes, vocalized distress, tensed his body and started rapid, shallow breathing. I talked him through it - "No, that is not your bus. We are going to get into our van and go home. The bus is going away and you are not going to ride the bus" He held it together, but could not move until the bus left. Riding the bus was always one of the highlights of the day. I see this as Frog's way of saying I like what we are doing and I don't want to go back to school. I feel the same way.
We did get school pictures back this week - and they are soooo good, I just have to share:
After listening to Frog's teacher's concerns and mixed messages -8:30am "he's doing really well, I'm so pleased", 3:00pm "I'm really concerned, he's not progressing as I had hoped. I think it is sensory and I'm concerned his program is too scattered. I think we need an IEP meeting to discuss his behaviors, make sure we are all on the same page and not duplicating what you are doing at home." (...?!!!!??) I spent a day observing Frog at school. I've been in his class on a regular basis this year because I was walking him to school every morning. I noticed both kids (Frog and his classmate) did a lot of screaming, crying, and trying to get away, but I always got reports of "good day." I gave the benefit of the doubt that having an extra adult in the room made things more chaotic. That changed after I watched what was going on. Frog's teacher was especially concerned about his "behaviors" meaning he frequently bit his wrist and pinched the teacher or pulled her hair. I am familiar with this behavior. It has been going on for the last two years he has been in her class. At home the behavior has steadily decreased and I assumed that was also true at school. I knew the teacher responded by holding his hands firmly away from his body so he could not bite or pinch and turning her gaze away from him until he calmed down. The morning of her phone call, while I was in the room I watched one of these episodes. They were sitting at the snack table. Frog's wrist went to his mouth and he pinched the Teacher. She told him "NO!" and restrained his hands. He calmed, she let go, and he went after her again - 4 times in a row with the same response from the teacher. I stepped in and suggested that she direct him to his Vantage Voice Output device, help him select the emotions menu and encourage him to "tell" her how he was feeling rather than "show" her with a pinch. When I demonstrated, he chose "excited". The teacher was clearly not impressed - although the picture for "excited" looked a lot like Frog in that moment.
The following day, I checked his Vantage when he came home - not one single word had been accessed. I had encouraged the teacher to use the structured nature of the program to encourage him to use the Vantage. I had even modified activity lines and made pages to suit her lesson plans for him. But she left the device on the snack table where he could access it if he wanted to, but he was never encouraged or directed or shown that it was appropriate or acceptable to use in the classroom. We and several other families had gone through the same thing with PECS training in this classroom. One family got the district to bring Pyramid PECS trainers to town to train the staff and parents - I wasn't there, but heard that most of the staff were more concerned about where they were going to go out to lunch than learning the training techniques. PECS books were regularly left zipped up in backpacks or put away on high shelves until snack time when they were used as choice boards. I paid my own way to get the training in another state when it was offered, then went into the classroom (for 4 weeks) to get the training started. It never worked for Frog, but we got several other kids off the ground. It was apparent, however, that this particular teacher did not want to bring anything new into her program and assumed that communication was the SLP's job. I could see we were still on the same road with the Vantage.
The teacher began taking functional behavior data on Frog on a Thursday. I asked her to e-mail me the results. I was stunned - not only by the number of times he was biting and pinching, but by the fact that the only categories she could see for "perceived function" were avoidance and escape. I went into the classroom the next day and took my own data resulting in a 7 page write-up of observations.
I spent the weekend celebrating Diva's birthday, then got down to IEP business Sunday evening after the kids had gone down for the night. I finished at 3am and shot a copy of my observations and conclusions off to Frog's Psychologist and private SLP. Both confirmed that I was not crazy to be highly concerned and agreed that my plans for home school would serve him better. I e-mailed my seven page document to the IEP team 3 hours prior to the meeting. I copied the Principal and the Special Ed Director - who both hightailed it to the meeting along with the school psychologist invited by the teacher. My conclusions prepared them for what was coming:
III. PARENTS CONCLUSIONS:
While I did see many examples of the behaviors that were brought to my attention, they did not seem as dramatic or intrusive as the data would suggest. What I did notice was a lot of communication from Frog that while I would hope was not going un-noticed, was certainly not honored or even acknowledged. I also saw dominating behavior on the part of the adults. While I am certain it was done with Frog’s best interest at heart, it certainly would shake the trust and confidence of a small child whose world view is often confused and chaotic. I do not believe it is helpful, healthy or wise to take all of Frog’s control away. That in itself would cause enough anxiety to interfere with learning. (On a side note - I applaud the introduction of sensory calming and sensory input activities into the work of the general classroom. I would caution, however, these are tools not magic bullets. The wrong tool used at the wrong time or used excessively can make things worse not better. I got the feeling that Frog was to be squished on a regular basis whether he needed/wanted it or not. On one occasion, I saw a Para trying so hard to comply with Teacher's direction to make sure Frog got a good squish, she directed him to the mat and when he didn’t go, she brought him to the mat and made him lay down, and when he tried to crawl away, she pulled him back and squished him.) I saw examples of auditory and visual distractions interrupting Frog's motor planning leaving him floundering for what to do next preceding some of the incidence of these behaviors. And, some of the behaviors were perfectly typical fight or flight responses to unexpected or startling events. In any event, while I think they do interfere with his learning to a degree, to the extent they are communicative I don’t want to extinguish the behavior without substituting another way for him to say ‘NO! Stop that! I don’t want to do that!” He is vulnerable enough as it is. Extinguishing behaviors that are defiant, and seeking complete compliance and submission is too dangerous for him and will make it difficult for him to ever feel his has the right or ability to self advocate. Other 5 year olds (and 4, 3, 2, even 1 year olds) say NO all the time. It is ok and developmentally appropriate for him to be non compliant at times. Furthermore, extinguishing the behaviors without truly identifying their purpose and helping Frog find appropriate substitute behaviors may not give us the results we desire. He didn’t start biting his arm and pinching us until he was taught (at school) to cover his mouth with his hand when he started to scream. In my opinion, if the program he is in requires a level of compliance that does not allow him to say no – I need to put him a different program.
I cut the teacher off as she began to read her observations and concerns pointing out that these were not new behaviors and they were decreasing in an environment where he was listened to and validated. We had a long discussion about the differences between ABA and DIR which was educational for some of the staff members. Then I suggested that it was time to take a break from school and focus on communication. I got no argument from the team, and the Teacher, who started out defensive, seemed a little shocked and a little relieved. We all made nice and allowed everyone to save face. We planned a goodbye ritual for Frog complete with a photo memory book and a cupcake celebration. We told him that we were proud of how much he had grown and learned in Teacher's class and now he was ready to move on to adventure school with Mommy. We kept the IEP for now with a placement of "home school". That means we can still access the OT that we adore and the new SLP who we were so excited to work with at the begining of the year.
We have realized at home for a long time now, that
Frog learns faster and more naturally when he backs into an activity rather than trying to learn through direct instruction. I'm in the process of modifying the home school curriculum with the advice and guidance of the teacher who developed the program, to meet his specific learning style. She suggested that he may show strong resistance initially to anything he perceives as "instruction" and suggested we unschool for a little while. Today when we left our private SLP's office, the local para-transit bus was parked at the front door. Frog froze, panicked, sat down on the ground and looked at me with scared pleading eyes, vocalized distress, tensed his body and started rapid, shallow breathing. I talked him through it - "No, that is not your bus. We are going to get into our van and go home. The bus is going away and you are not going to ride the bus" He held it together, but could not move until the bus left. Riding the bus was always one of the highlights of the day. I see this as Frog's way of saying I like what we are doing and I don't want to go back to school. I feel the same way.
We did get school pictures back this week - and they are soooo good, I just have to share:
Sir Ken Robinson: Do schools kill creativity?
This is a link to a video clip I found both entertaining and thought provoking. I thought some of you might also find it interesting. It can take a few minutes to load, but I think it is worth the wait -
About this Talk
Sir Ken Robinson makes an entertaining (and profoundly moving) case for creating an education system that nurtures creativity, rather than undermining it. With ample anecdotes and witty asides, Robinson points out the many ways our schools fail to recognize -- much less cultivate -- the talents of many brilliant people. "We are educating people out of their creativity," Robinson says. The universality of his message is evidenced by its rampant popularity online. A typical review: "If you have not yet seen Sir Ken Robinson's TED talk, please stop whatever you're doing and watch it now."
Do Schools Kill Creativity?
About this Talk
Sir Ken Robinson makes an entertaining (and profoundly moving) case for creating an education system that nurtures creativity, rather than undermining it. With ample anecdotes and witty asides, Robinson points out the many ways our schools fail to recognize -- much less cultivate -- the talents of many brilliant people. "We are educating people out of their creativity," Robinson says. The universality of his message is evidenced by its rampant popularity online. A typical review: "If you have not yet seen Sir Ken Robinson's TED talk, please stop whatever you're doing and watch it now."
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Changes
I'll need everyone to send me strength tomorrow. We are finally fed up with Frog's pre-school teacher. She is a lovely lady with good intentions who's program works for some kids - but she does not take advice from ANYONE, and she has now called an emergency IEP modification meeting because, after telling us all year how well Frog is doing, she has determined that he is not progressing and his behaviors and sensory issues are to blame. I spent last Friday observing and it was not hard to see that if there is a problem it is with his inability to communicate in a way that she and her staff will acknowledge or honor. Frankly, if she treated me the way she treats him, in the name of progress and learning, I'd pinch her too! We plan to thank the team for their efforts and withdraw him from school. We've started an ENKI homeschool program and plan to continue with it. But, being one who does not like to ruffle feathers, I know that this will not be an easy meeting for me. My husband, on the other hand, who has not had as close contact with this teacher or the other team members would like to simply skip the meeting and sue someone for some of the behavior we've seen on the part of the school district. As an attorney - I don't think it is warranted or winnable, but as a parent, I understand his frustration.
On a lighter note - here are some pictures of what the frog family has been up to in my absence:
On a lighter note - here are some pictures of what the frog family has been up to in my absence:
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Where is Mary Poppins when you need her?
We've been fortunate that Little Frog has always been a very healthy little guy. We've hidden a few nutritional supplements in the maple syrup on his waffle or the jelly on his sandwich and slipped the occasional 3mg of melatonin into his ice cream, but it is a rare occasion when we have to give him actual medicine. Tylenol is the most common followed by the occasional 10 day round of antibiotics. He always gets better after we administer these medications, but the thing is - rarely does enough of the medicine get into his system for me to believe it is having any real effect. I think his "recovery" is due more to the heightened sensory input he gets from the struggle to avoid the medicine or he has some amazing ability to absorb the stuff transdermaly.
I have a dear friend, another autism mom, who has taken a much more biomedical approach to Autism. She has two boys who at any given time are on a variety of meds and supplements given on a daily basis. She firmly believes that I should desensitise and use behavior modification to teach Little Frog to take his medication without the aid of dramatic hiding rituals. I agree, that when he actually needs medication, ie antibiotics, he is not getting them and the struggle is monumental. One of her sons has PICA issues and getting him to swallow things was not a big deal. Her other son was very resistant and she describes a three year process of behavior modification, reasoning, consistency, and heavy duty reward systems that have recently culminated in her son agreeing to take a new, foul tasting medicine without incident. I would love to be able to give Frog some Tylenol when he is hurting, or make sure the antibiotics actually got into his system, but his reaction to taking medication and to us pushing him are worrisome. I fear creating more problems than I solve.
Frog's inability to swallow things seems to be a sensory issue. His throat closes in an almost instinctive way. (I'm channeling Grandin now - correct bad behaviors, accommodate sensory issues). This time around, by day three, we had to chase him down and wrap him and his arms in a towel, but then he would open his mouth and let us put the syringe in - there was just nowhere for the meds to go. Even with him mouth clamped shut by us, the meds just pooled at the back of his throat. I don't think we want to completely undo this protective reflex, as it is what keeps him from swallowing the various rocks, dirt, rubber bands, toys he pushes around inside his mouth. It is also what keeps him from sucking in a lung full of water when he swims under water with his mouth open like a baleen whale.
We do continue to reason with him, and maybe I should work on that when we are not in crisis mode - daily vitamin in jam perhaps. To this point, the very act of "forcing" an issue with Frog, no mater how gently we do it, pushes him just over the edge and I don't know if he can continue to process the language adequately at that time to engage in "reasoning". Also, with the language issues, I don't know if my reasoning is addressing his actual concerns and is therefore valid or persuasive in his mind. I do think that if I could come up with a new preparation to replace the pink suspension, that would not require two teaspoons of liquid, I could make a killing! Spoonful of Stevia anyone?
Does anyone have suggestions, opinions, or experiences that might help me decide what my next course of action should be?
Friday, August 10, 2007
Food Glorious Food
******
Food, glorious food!
We're anxious to try it.
Three banquets a day --
Our favourite diet!
The day I've been waiting for has finally arrived - I cooked one meal for my family of four and everyone ate! It was a quick fix dinner from the frozen food section to boot - 15 minutes from freezer to table. Not my favorite way to cook, but it beats prepping three separate meals every night.
Diva has been very good about trying new things over the last year, but Frog remained steadfast in his five dish diet (Ego waffles, PB&J sandwiches, Mac-n-Cheese, Chicken Nuggets and French Fries, and Turkey and Cheese Sub with lots of Olives). A few nights ago, something amazing happened. Frog flat out refused his PB&J sandwich at dinner time - pushed the plate away. Then he went after his Dad's spicy penne and shrimp. Dad held him off, warning him that it was hot and asking him what he wanted. Frog said
"Nu, Nu, Nu, Nu, Nu".
Since that night, Frog has eaten spaghetti with meatballs, Fettuccini Alfredo with chicken and broccoli, white rice (I thought of you Charlie) with Thai sweet and sour sauce, Gnocchi with tomato and cheese sauce, hamburger bun with ketchup (he left the burger behind), popcorn, and muffins. Last night I made homemade rice pilaf and a gourmet pork chop dish with a red wine, rosemary, and Dijon mustard pan juice reduction. Little Frog mostly tossed the rice around, but he did climb onto the counter after dinner and enjoyed the remaining pan juice reduction. Tonight - chicken vegetable stir-fry. I cut the vegetables and chicken really small for him and he ate most of them - even finished what Diva left behind. Diva even surprised us by asking for peas in the pod which I had left out of her serving because I though she only liked carrots and broccoli.
For a Frog Mom who loves to cook, this is happy news indeed!
Food, glorious food!
We're anxious to try it.
Three banquets a day --
Our favourite diet!
The day I've been waiting for has finally arrived - I cooked one meal for my family of four and everyone ate! It was a quick fix dinner from the frozen food section to boot - 15 minutes from freezer to table. Not my favorite way to cook, but it beats prepping three separate meals every night.
Diva has been very good about trying new things over the last year, but Frog remained steadfast in his five dish diet (Ego waffles, PB&J sandwiches, Mac-n-Cheese, Chicken Nuggets and French Fries, and Turkey and Cheese Sub with lots of Olives). A few nights ago, something amazing happened. Frog flat out refused his PB&J sandwich at dinner time - pushed the plate away. Then he went after his Dad's spicy penne and shrimp. Dad held him off, warning him that it was hot and asking him what he wanted. Frog said
"Nu, Nu, Nu, Nu, Nu".
Since that night, Frog has eaten spaghetti with meatballs, Fettuccini Alfredo with chicken and broccoli, white rice (I thought of you Charlie) with Thai sweet and sour sauce, Gnocchi with tomato and cheese sauce, hamburger bun with ketchup (he left the burger behind), popcorn, and muffins. Last night I made homemade rice pilaf and a gourmet pork chop dish with a red wine, rosemary, and Dijon mustard pan juice reduction. Little Frog mostly tossed the rice around, but he did climb onto the counter after dinner and enjoyed the remaining pan juice reduction. Tonight - chicken vegetable stir-fry. I cut the vegetables and chicken really small for him and he ate most of them - even finished what Diva left behind. Diva even surprised us by asking for peas in the pod which I had left out of her serving because I though she only liked carrots and broccoli.
For a Frog Mom who loves to cook, this is happy news indeed!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Little Frog in his own time
I have spent this summer cleaning. The usual household stuff; the regular but unusual messes Little Frog makes; and a major - dig to the back of the closets - read the expiration dates - when did we last use this! - whole house cleaning. I even had a commercial dumpster delivered to our house and we almost managed to fill it. We are feeling a bit lighter and breathing a bit eaisier. The whole family has a new found interest in tidiness - including Little Frog. Although he has not jumped on the "put it away" bandwagon, he loves spending time in his bedroom and playroom where there is a place for everything and everything is in it’s place. While I was sorting through the toys and books, I came across a story called "Ruby in Her Own Time" about a baby duck who develops a little more slowly than her peers, but flies the farthest in the end. It reminded me of Little Frog.
I had such great expectations for this summer - jam packed with new adventures and learning experiences for the whole family and a specially designed summer home school for Little Frog. But, the best laid plans . . . I guess I should have checked with Little Frog before I got so wrapped up in the idea. I just have to keep reminding myself - "In his own time".
We've had our share of adventure and learning, just not in ways I intended. Diva has flourished in gymnastics and is reaching a level where the elements become quite nerve wracking for parents to watch. There have been play dates galore, but not the inclusive experiences I'd hoped to provide for Little Frog. And Frog's Dad has learned all about pool installation with a wonderful new 15 x 30 foot above ground pool to show for his efforts. Thanks to the heat pump and some stretches of nice weather, the water has remained in the upper 80's.
Little Frog's summer has been full of more misadventure than adventure. We started with some major dental work under general anesthesia which sent both frog parents into small bouts of panic attack - not only thinking about the procedure itself (7 crowns and one extraction), but the potential aftermath of completely changing Frog's mouth - his proprioceptive center. Frog did amazingly well and showed little impact from the changes. During his pre-operative check-up however, his doctor became concerned that his heart murmur seemed dramatically louder. After the dental work, our next appointment was with the pediatric cardiologist. More anxiety for mom and dad, as I was a child diagnosed with Paten ductus at the late age of 4 and required heart surgery to correct it. Fortunately, Frog's murmur turned out to be a standard Stills murmur - nothing to worry about.
The afternoon following his appointment with the cardiologist, Frog went to spend time with his grandma so Diva could entertain friends in the pool. While Frog played outside at grandma's, she noticed him wiping his foot in the grass and finally sitting down to look at the bottom of his foot. It is unusual for Frog to be sensitive enough to feel something on his foot. She wondered if he had a sliver. She got a quick look, but didn't see anything. I looked when he got home and didn't see anything. We had him soak his foot in the bath for the next couple of nights and he spent a lot of time in the pool. We still did not see anything on his foot and he was running and jumping without any apparent distress so we let it go. On Sunday evening, we noticed that Frog was walking flat footed. His teacher always insisted that he walk flat footed at school. At home, we remind him occasionally, but are not sticklers about it. I watched him walk around for an hour without going onto his toes. Then I watched him jump on his toes on his bed. Later I saw him walking on his heels. I figured he was just trying something new.
On Monday, Little Frog turned 5. It was a big day with a small evening celebration planned for the family. Late that morning, I heard a squeal from downstairs. I came down to find Frog sitting on the kitchen counter covered in extra strength dish washing detergent, mouth open in a silent scream, rubbing his eyes with soap covered hands. I grabbed him, threw him into the sink, got a good wrestler’s grip around his soapy body and arms, used my head to hold his head still and used the sprayer from our sink to rinse out his eyes with cold water while he writhed and screamed in fear. He was soaked, I was soaked, and the entire kitchen was soaked and slippery with dish soap. His eyes red and swollen with irritation and terror, I carried him upstairs to clean up and realized that he still seemed soapy. I called to Diva "let's get Little Frog to the swimming pool to rinse off, he likes the pool." I took him to the middle of our pool and let him go, as he likes to sink under the water. He was too traumatized for that. Although he does not know how to swim, he held his head above the water and paddled away from me as fast as he could making it all the way to the stairs without getting his face in the water. While I was impressed with his new "swimming" ability, it became clear that we would have to abandon the pool and go back to the sink for more eye rinsing. He enjoyed his party, the balloons, the presents and the brownies, but his eyes were still a little weepy.
On Tuesday, while we waited for his new big boy bed to be delivered, he found his way into the bathroom, took a drinking glass and smashed it in the toilet bowl. Smashing glass has become a new hobby for Little Frog. In the past month he has swiped glasses from the sink and smashed them in the rock pile where he likes to play. He has taken jars of spaghetti sauce from the pantry and dropped them onto the concrete walkway in front of the house. He has taken bottles of beer from the refrigerator and smashed them on the garage floor. The glass in the toilet bowl cut his hand as he dipped water out of the bowl with another glass and dumped it onto the bathroom floor and bedroom carpet. Upon discovering this latest event I quickly removed him from the bathroom and went on a frantic search for antibiotic cream, lotion, spray, all of which I have, none of which I could locate. I finally settled on a good soapy washing at the sink followed by an antibacterial hand wipe, with Little Frog screaming and crying about being restrained and forced to comply with the washing.
Wednesday, what had seemed to be a new found interest in walking on flat feet or his heels then progressed to a limp. By Wednesday evening he could hardly walk on his right foot and a large hard red bulge was appearing just behind his toes with a small white spot in the middle. Thursday morning, the white spot had grown considerably and he could not put any weight on the foot at all. He was not running a fever, and he ate his breakfast, but a trip to the doctor's office was in order just the same. We saw the young resident who diagnosed it as a boil that had formed around a splinter. As he lay on his stomach, I laid my body across him while she examined his foot and expressed a small amount of puss from the abscess for culture. She sent us home with instructions to soak his foot often, apply antibiotic cream, and watch for signs of improvement or worsening. We only saw worsening. While Little Frog loves water, by evening I had to coax him into putting the foot into the water. I told him that if he soaked his foot it would make it better so he wouldn't have to go back to the doctor's. Not a promise I should have made. I struggled to get Tylenol down him - a battle Little Frog views as assault. When morning finally came, the abscess was larger, the foot was red and I was fearful that one of the red marks I saw might be a sign that the infection had entered the bloodstream. I called the Doctor's office, but they were not open yet. Little Frog was in good spirits, not running a temperature, and was eating - but he tired easily. I thought about going to the local ER, but knew that by the time we got through the admitting paperwork, his doctor would be in - so we waited for the doctor instead.
When we got to the doctor's office, Little Frog threw a fit. He was frightened, but he was also mad - and why wouldn't he be? I was the one who told him that if he put his foot in the water he wouldn't have to come back here. While I stood holding him in the waiting area, he screamed and clawed at my face. Behind my sunglasses, I started to cry - not necessarily for his physical pain and fear, as heart wrenching as that was, but more for the idea that I was betraying him, albeit for his own good. The person he most trusted in the whole world to protect him was delivering him once again for a painful procedure, holding him down while he screamed. The procedure was over very quickly followed up by two shots and a 20 minute wait to make sure there was no reaction to the shots. Little Frog, as always, was resilient.
As we made our escape from the clinic, he was happy. He showed no sign of any resentment towards me (though he screamed when I told him we would have to come back tomorrow for a quick re-check). He came home, ate lunch, napped the afternoon away and woke happy, giggling, requesting hugs, snuggles, and tickles from all of us. He was obviously feeling a good deal of relief from the release of all that pressure that was building in his little foot. I, on the other hand, could not stop crying. I made it through the fairy picnic play date Diva had with her friend at our house, but every time I was alone I was crying. I had reached my limit for torturing my son for his own good. The next morning, Frog woke with some energy and quickly drained. When we got to the doctor's office for the recheck, Frog could not hold his head up. While we waited in the exam room, all he wanted to do was lie down. He mustered up a quick scream when the blister was again punctured and drained, then he was practically asleep. No fever, just wiped out.
By Sunday he was back to his old self. He was getting around just fine and running from us when it was time for antibiotics. Not only did he never loose his appetite, but he rejected all his usual favorites and insisted on trying new foods. He is now eating spaghetti with meatballs, fettuccini Alfredo, and white rice with sweet and sour sauce. Today he repeatedly signed and used his voice output system with some guidance to request chips, candy, water and more. He approximated spoken words (Mmm - more, Dee - candy, Yea - yes). He sat and listened to an ENKI story about dandelions. He spent 20 minutes with me exploring roses and rose petals - touching, smelling, biting, tearing, and tossing them. He listened when he was told "No. Stop climbing over the fence. Put your feet back on the ground." He opened his mouth for medicine (and then spit it all back out). He has started playing with different toys and looking at books. And tonight, just before bed, he lost his first tooth.
Once again, Little Frog reminds me that he needs to do and learn things his own way in his own time. I guess I should stop worrying so much and just enjoy the ride.
I had such great expectations for this summer - jam packed with new adventures and learning experiences for the whole family and a specially designed summer home school for Little Frog. But, the best laid plans . . . I guess I should have checked with Little Frog before I got so wrapped up in the idea. I just have to keep reminding myself - "In his own time".
We've had our share of adventure and learning, just not in ways I intended. Diva has flourished in gymnastics and is reaching a level where the elements become quite nerve wracking for parents to watch. There have been play dates galore, but not the inclusive experiences I'd hoped to provide for Little Frog. And Frog's Dad has learned all about pool installation with a wonderful new 15 x 30 foot above ground pool to show for his efforts. Thanks to the heat pump and some stretches of nice weather, the water has remained in the upper 80's.
Little Frog's summer has been full of more misadventure than adventure. We started with some major dental work under general anesthesia which sent both frog parents into small bouts of panic attack - not only thinking about the procedure itself (7 crowns and one extraction), but the potential aftermath of completely changing Frog's mouth - his proprioceptive center. Frog did amazingly well and showed little impact from the changes. During his pre-operative check-up however, his doctor became concerned that his heart murmur seemed dramatically louder. After the dental work, our next appointment was with the pediatric cardiologist. More anxiety for mom and dad, as I was a child diagnosed with Paten ductus at the late age of 4 and required heart surgery to correct it. Fortunately, Frog's murmur turned out to be a standard Stills murmur - nothing to worry about.
The afternoon following his appointment with the cardiologist, Frog went to spend time with his grandma so Diva could entertain friends in the pool. While Frog played outside at grandma's, she noticed him wiping his foot in the grass and finally sitting down to look at the bottom of his foot. It is unusual for Frog to be sensitive enough to feel something on his foot. She wondered if he had a sliver. She got a quick look, but didn't see anything. I looked when he got home and didn't see anything. We had him soak his foot in the bath for the next couple of nights and he spent a lot of time in the pool. We still did not see anything on his foot and he was running and jumping without any apparent distress so we let it go. On Sunday evening, we noticed that Frog was walking flat footed. His teacher always insisted that he walk flat footed at school. At home, we remind him occasionally, but are not sticklers about it. I watched him walk around for an hour without going onto his toes. Then I watched him jump on his toes on his bed. Later I saw him walking on his heels. I figured he was just trying something new.
On Monday, Little Frog turned 5. It was a big day with a small evening celebration planned for the family. Late that morning, I heard a squeal from downstairs. I came down to find Frog sitting on the kitchen counter covered in extra strength dish washing detergent, mouth open in a silent scream, rubbing his eyes with soap covered hands. I grabbed him, threw him into the sink, got a good wrestler’s grip around his soapy body and arms, used my head to hold his head still and used the sprayer from our sink to rinse out his eyes with cold water while he writhed and screamed in fear. He was soaked, I was soaked, and the entire kitchen was soaked and slippery with dish soap. His eyes red and swollen with irritation and terror, I carried him upstairs to clean up and realized that he still seemed soapy. I called to Diva "let's get Little Frog to the swimming pool to rinse off, he likes the pool." I took him to the middle of our pool and let him go, as he likes to sink under the water. He was too traumatized for that. Although he does not know how to swim, he held his head above the water and paddled away from me as fast as he could making it all the way to the stairs without getting his face in the water. While I was impressed with his new "swimming" ability, it became clear that we would have to abandon the pool and go back to the sink for more eye rinsing. He enjoyed his party, the balloons, the presents and the brownies, but his eyes were still a little weepy.
On Tuesday, while we waited for his new big boy bed to be delivered, he found his way into the bathroom, took a drinking glass and smashed it in the toilet bowl. Smashing glass has become a new hobby for Little Frog. In the past month he has swiped glasses from the sink and smashed them in the rock pile where he likes to play. He has taken jars of spaghetti sauce from the pantry and dropped them onto the concrete walkway in front of the house. He has taken bottles of beer from the refrigerator and smashed them on the garage floor. The glass in the toilet bowl cut his hand as he dipped water out of the bowl with another glass and dumped it onto the bathroom floor and bedroom carpet. Upon discovering this latest event I quickly removed him from the bathroom and went on a frantic search for antibiotic cream, lotion, spray, all of which I have, none of which I could locate. I finally settled on a good soapy washing at the sink followed by an antibacterial hand wipe, with Little Frog screaming and crying about being restrained and forced to comply with the washing.
Wednesday, what had seemed to be a new found interest in walking on flat feet or his heels then progressed to a limp. By Wednesday evening he could hardly walk on his right foot and a large hard red bulge was appearing just behind his toes with a small white spot in the middle. Thursday morning, the white spot had grown considerably and he could not put any weight on the foot at all. He was not running a fever, and he ate his breakfast, but a trip to the doctor's office was in order just the same. We saw the young resident who diagnosed it as a boil that had formed around a splinter. As he lay on his stomach, I laid my body across him while she examined his foot and expressed a small amount of puss from the abscess for culture. She sent us home with instructions to soak his foot often, apply antibiotic cream, and watch for signs of improvement or worsening. We only saw worsening. While Little Frog loves water, by evening I had to coax him into putting the foot into the water. I told him that if he soaked his foot it would make it better so he wouldn't have to go back to the doctor's. Not a promise I should have made. I struggled to get Tylenol down him - a battle Little Frog views as assault. When morning finally came, the abscess was larger, the foot was red and I was fearful that one of the red marks I saw might be a sign that the infection had entered the bloodstream. I called the Doctor's office, but they were not open yet. Little Frog was in good spirits, not running a temperature, and was eating - but he tired easily. I thought about going to the local ER, but knew that by the time we got through the admitting paperwork, his doctor would be in - so we waited for the doctor instead.
When we got to the doctor's office, Little Frog threw a fit. He was frightened, but he was also mad - and why wouldn't he be? I was the one who told him that if he put his foot in the water he wouldn't have to come back here. While I stood holding him in the waiting area, he screamed and clawed at my face. Behind my sunglasses, I started to cry - not necessarily for his physical pain and fear, as heart wrenching as that was, but more for the idea that I was betraying him, albeit for his own good. The person he most trusted in the whole world to protect him was delivering him once again for a painful procedure, holding him down while he screamed. The procedure was over very quickly followed up by two shots and a 20 minute wait to make sure there was no reaction to the shots. Little Frog, as always, was resilient.
As we made our escape from the clinic, he was happy. He showed no sign of any resentment towards me (though he screamed when I told him we would have to come back tomorrow for a quick re-check). He came home, ate lunch, napped the afternoon away and woke happy, giggling, requesting hugs, snuggles, and tickles from all of us. He was obviously feeling a good deal of relief from the release of all that pressure that was building in his little foot. I, on the other hand, could not stop crying. I made it through the fairy picnic play date Diva had with her friend at our house, but every time I was alone I was crying. I had reached my limit for torturing my son for his own good. The next morning, Frog woke with some energy and quickly drained. When we got to the doctor's office for the recheck, Frog could not hold his head up. While we waited in the exam room, all he wanted to do was lie down. He mustered up a quick scream when the blister was again punctured and drained, then he was practically asleep. No fever, just wiped out.
By Sunday he was back to his old self. He was getting around just fine and running from us when it was time for antibiotics. Not only did he never loose his appetite, but he rejected all his usual favorites and insisted on trying new foods. He is now eating spaghetti with meatballs, fettuccini Alfredo, and white rice with sweet and sour sauce. Today he repeatedly signed and used his voice output system with some guidance to request chips, candy, water and more. He approximated spoken words (Mmm - more, Dee - candy, Yea - yes). He sat and listened to an ENKI story about dandelions. He spent 20 minutes with me exploring roses and rose petals - touching, smelling, biting, tearing, and tossing them. He listened when he was told "No. Stop climbing over the fence. Put your feet back on the ground." He opened his mouth for medicine (and then spit it all back out). He has started playing with different toys and looking at books. And tonight, just before bed, he lost his first tooth.
Once again, Little Frog reminds me that he needs to do and learn things his own way in his own time. I guess I should stop worrying so much and just enjoy the ride.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)